Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Equality and Transgender

Everyone should be equal. This Liam Neeson meme depicts it perfectly.

Also, Eddie Izzard is great

And, Virginia Woolf's suicide note moved me a lot...
I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

Please be kind and have patients with everyone, you have NO IDEA when they're going to be gone. FFS BE NICE. Love all the way.

Katy's story (check out her twitter)

When you asked me to do a guest blog on my journey, i was like, ok easy, but then when i sat down to start writing it, i began to wonder where to start. do i begin with my childhood, where i can give you the cliche stuff about not wanting to play with "boys" toys, or my teenage years, where the world just becomes a whole other area of confusion.

I think its fair to say i always knew i was different, and ive spent a long time trying to feel comfortable in my skin. during my teenage years i identified as gay, as this seemed to be the easiest way to express myself. i was definately acting feminine then, but being gay seemed to let me do that without too many awkward questions being asked (either to me or by myself). School wasnt particulary easy, i had my problems with bullies, but i did come through it with my head held high and some amazing friends. it was around this time that i did start experimenting with cross-dressing, as a way to let my inside thoughts out.

This led to me working as a drag queen in a gay bar, which i did for a few years. (drag queen always makes it sound glamorous, but i was basically a glorified waitress!). It was during this period that i started to realise the male version of me was the drag version, and the female version was who i actually wanted to be, and where i felt comfortable. I had a long period of tears, soul searching, denial, and long conversations with those closest to me before i came to the biggest decision of my life - i wanted to be a woman.

I then spent a lot of time on the internet, googling and researching, trying to be sure i was doing the right thing, before finally plucking up the courage to see a doctor. It's one of the scariest things to sit in a room with a stranger and tell her something which seemed like such a huge secret, but also a releif, as it meant the ball started moving. It's then not an instant thing, you go through a lot of appointments and psychological evaluations before they recomend you to start the process, which is so emotionally draining, it feels like youre being picked apart piece by piece. But you get through all that, and suddenly you're on a prescription for hormones :)

The hormones are crazy to start with, youre basically given 2 lots, one to surpress the natural testosterone, and another to give you estrogen. it's the estrogen thats the powerful one, as that basically puts you through puberty a second time, just on this occasion you get the girl version. so while it encourages all the physical changes, i developed boobs and a bum, i also got the crazy emotions. the first few months were a whirlwind of tears and mood swings, as the body adjusted to the new hormones, all at the same time where you're going through the process of learning how to present yourself as a woman full time. it was a difficult few months, and probably the hardest part of the process.

So now im here, been on them for almost 2 years now, and looking forward to the final surgery in May, it seems like such a long time to go, and its also a bit scary as its final, you cant go back after that, but ive never been more confident in myself now. i feel like a new woman, and that feeling will only get better after May.

I was lucky with my mum ,she was behind me. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't a shock to her, and it was a very difficult conversation, but I went through how i was feeling, how this wasn't an easy decision for me to make, and how I hoped she would support me through it, gave her some leaflets and websites/contact groups for her to talk it through. It did take her some time to accept the decision, and i think she maybe thought i would change my mind. At this point she'd already accept me as gay, accepted me as working as a drag queen, so I knew that in the long run she would be fine. In a strange way it's probably made us closer, we can kinda share more stuff now.

For Leelah, it's a horrible situation that she felt that it was the only way out. The one thing i would say to anyone who is going through that is that although there are dark times, and i think everyone who has gender issues will go through them, is that it does get better, and there is always people out there who will support you in your decisions. If your own family aren't behind you, then there is a whole other community out there who will give you support on every step. It's not an easy journey, but the destination at the end is completely worth it, i've never felt happier than i do right now knowing that i'm almost at the end. The most important person in your own life is you, so you have to make the decisions that matter for you, no-one else.

Other amazing articles
Paris Lees articles on Vice (giving extra credit to what we learned about being trans in 2014)
Laverne Cox's instagram! AKA chick from Orange is the new black! Gush I love her so much.
Jay Kellyon talking to parents
and remember Isis King from America's next top model?? She was amazing, update on her progress here
Jenna Talackova (twitter) and a great ABC interview and lots of Huffington posts about her. Inc her new reality show which I can't wait to watch.

People to call if you relate and have nobody that understands (check out google if I haven't listed your country)
in the UK Gires, Mermaids, Depend,Get Connected, Papyrus, The Calm Zone, FTM London, Gender Trust , Transgender Zone,Outline, Northern Concord
US Fenway Health